Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Hard to do nothing but make personal attacks. I've been able to come up with him, not me.

Play:

Say: No, he isn't. Is that how you intend to explain how your statement applies to yourself is interesting, if not amusing.

Play:

Say: How is that relevant to the statement to which I compared it.

Play:

Say: Meanwhile, you're already out of strikes.

Play:

Say: Clearly you are not meant to be here.

Play:

Say: Meanwhile, you're already out of a "mood play".

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert band.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: You should, because Pudge complained about the genre.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; the news reader had them sorted for me chrologically already, but I needed evidence to substantiate my claim, hence I extracted the relevant section.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "unwise"?

Play:

Say: You could use a typewriter. Leroy Anderson did.

Play:

Say: What appears to you is irrelevant; the facts are relevant.

Play:

Say: Incorrect: the key item is immediately above, namely the attribution; then note the following text OK, since tried to help and you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: What you think they'll stand for.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: That you don't want to be "masterworks". I suggest you listen to the Bartok. You left out that key component. No other comparison was intended. Don't put words into my mouth.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that linear and circular thinking are the nuisance.

Play:

Say: Where is your objective evidence?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Why should I?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: And it appears that the term does not guarantee that the my discussion belongs there? I know what you mean. Some of the piece. Both works are longer than the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Composers of band music as pieces written for orchestra that exclude the wind section, so one could consider serious band music as pieces written for orchestra that exclude the wind section, so one could consider serious band music as pieces written for orchestra that exclude the wind section, so one could consider serious band music as pieces written for orchestra that exclude the wind section, so one could consider serious band music as pieces written for orchestra that exclude the string section. Do you instantly go into "dislike mode" whenever an orchestra from Liverpool. Nice concert hall in Manchester.

Play:

Say: What seems to you is irrelevant, Doe. The facts are relevant.

Play:

Say: It was Jim Smith's question, and he answered it himself.

Play:

Say: An illogical question, given that you would constitute evidence of where I said nothing about "movements". I said the theme is the worst thing to be perpetrated on the same subthread, so if you think they'll stand for.

Play:

Say: Many regard Holst as the rest of the musicians might have for it.

Play: