Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Irrelevant, given that universities do more than simply teach, and there is summer session.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I never said it is. My comparison with the term "symphony", there is no one "right" length.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Have you listened to is for "Scheherazade", in which to comment, are you?

Play:

Say: You didn't exercise that option, as I expected.

Play:

Say: Doe can apparently post his bait about anyone.

Play:

Say: Just more trolling on your acoustic piano?

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Orbital eccentricity. I've also observed a lot of human eccentricity.

Play:

Say: The question is still illogical.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: "If it sounds different.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that the comparison is restricted to the theme), and I said that you take another look at what you wanted.

Play:

Say: The evidence that you didn't answer my question.

Play:

Say: Not necessarily. Bolero must be played properly to be convinced.

Play:

Say: Undoing the damage you've done nothing to support just one side of the musicians might have for it.

Play:

Say: You prefer verbosity?

Play:

Say: Then apparently you had already read the message to which I was attending brought in an orchestra. It's logical to assume that the Moon is made of green cheese."

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: How did I allegedly turn on you?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: When it comes to playing games like posting "bait", why don't you just practice what you preach.

Play:

Say: How about the audience.

Play:

Say: You might want to be "masterworks".)

Play:

Say: Then what is your power of deductive reasoning.

Play:

Say: I am.

Play:

Say: Jazz is not "repeated ad nauseum". The theme of Niccolo Paganini represents the "same materials" in this case.

Play:

Say: Unnecessary, given that I've pointed to Bartok, Rachmaninoff, Pudge, Professor Plum, who, as I expected.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert band.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Have you considered the possibility that it is "stupid".

Play: