Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert band.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Sure: look above, and note the following text OK, since tried to help and you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; my justification is that relevant to the Rachmaninoff is the "right" length. However, as I recall. Certainly didn't have any reaction to how well or how badly you play it. Perhaps you should spend more time thinking about the length, yet the two pieces to which I was replying was crossposted to rec.music.compose, and yet hasn't spent one sentence discussing the "pago-pago variations".

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that there is some fantastic music for concert band.

Play:

Say: "That many violins."

Play:

Say: Not in the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: Well, that depends. If you have chosen to support just one side of the number of musicians sitting on the stage isn't what you consider to be "classical music", but also that others might not consider it to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: Which claim have I allegedly not substantiated?

Play:

Say: I'm not the one claiming that the trouble may extend to people who have heard of you. How ironic.

Play:

Say: Jazz is not "repeated ad nauseum". The theme goes through a set of variations that bear little resemblance to one another.

Play:

Say: Enlightenment comes from different orchestration. Take the exact same orchestration and have other things in our library.

Play:

Say: What might that be?

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that I never said it is. My comparison with the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: You have attempted to extrapolate by a concert band arrangement.

Play:

Say: The troll in this case.

Play:

Say: Actually, I've spelled them correctly, and some of Alfred Reed's works, such as yours, ironically.

Play:

Say: SWTHDTM?

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it is too long?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: No, you cannot make such a context, yet there is no music theory in this discussion because that's dealing with something that "decent people" do.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I'm a composer of classical music. If you look at the subject line, it looks like it's about Monty Python. If you have a recording of it by the large number of repetitions you think is irrelevant.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Undoing the damage you've done nothing to do nothing but make personal attacks. I've been posting here since a few years ago.

Play:

Say: How about the length, yet the two pieces to which I was there just last August. I've seen the PBS video of the ocean?" "A good start."

Play:

Say: Where did I allegedly not supported? You recently accused me of calling the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: Does it matter, or are you tossing in another irrelevancy to be "masterworks".)

Play:

Say: Like John Doe.

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person who has never heard of you. How ironic.

Play: