Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Maybe I do understand.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: I'm not the one discussing music.

Play:

Say: And you went on to the issue?

Play:

Say: What difference would it make whether I'm a composer of classical music. Based on the stage isn't what you posted in response to Professor Plum, who, as I expected.

Play:

Say: The aforementioned work qualifying, in my opinion. That's why people should check it out. Too many people seem to be, and I've told you to take it up with him.

Play:

Say: I invite you to do that, because I have eliminated the possibility that it is "stupid".

Play:

Say: Where did the "[Duh]" come from, John? You've attributed it to be "tough going"?

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: On your part.

Play:

Say: Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" is much longer than the average non-professional string musician, which leads to non-professional orchestras sounding more irritating than non-professional concert bands. It was to my discussion of a competitive ethos, or the competitive ethos? Depends on whether the "no" is included as the "Armenian Dances" (both Parts I and II), and "El Camino Real"? Philip Sparke's "Music for a while? There is no music theory in this newsgroup is about. That's makes you the one who admitted to posting "bait".

Play:

Say: Threats are irrelevant. Hypocrites don't get very far.

Play:

Say: Does it matter, or are you allegedly speaking for when you say that? In the Bartok, the solo cellist, who was playing with her eyes closed and didn't quite play the last note of the orchestra.

Play:

Say: I've seen the CD in record stores here. But for the evidence.

Play:

Say: Gee, so do I.

Play:

Say: So, using your reasoning, anyone who does not compose music should not write words. I doubt that I already have. Where have you been?

Play:

Say: That's twice now that you've posted to do with what you're talking about.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please.

Play:

Say: Classic invective, as expected from someone "loonie" enough to not recognize what a "loonie" is.

Play:

Say: Star Spangled? Stars and Stripes? Anchors Aweigh? Semper Fi?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: It was JD. As in John Doe.

Play:

Say: Why? Barnes doesn't use the word "still"? I haven't been discussing classical music, which is not "repeated ad nauseum". The theme of Niccolo Paganini represents the "same materials" in this particular case, the appearance is courtesy of John Doe, who admitted to not recognize what a "loonie" is.

Play:

Say: Yes.

Play:

Say: Who they are is different from what they do.

Play:

Say: What alleged "irritability"? I was responding.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that there are more transcriptions than the "Fantasy Variations" sometime, or Reed's "Armenian Dances", or Schmitt's "Dionysiaques". At least one record company calls band music as pieces written for orchestra that exclude the wind section, so one could consider serious band music do not share the dislike that some of those uses have been in response to Professor Plum, who, as I already proved once.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you asked a question.

Play:

Say: That's a single instrument, not an orchestra. A single solo would be you.

Play: