Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Why don't you find "that many" violins to be "masterworks".)

Play:

Say: You should, because Pudge complained about the "Symphonic Overture" or "Visions Macabre"?

Play:

Say: Obviously not, given the level of my responses in it.

Play:

Say: You might want to hang out in the discussion between us, unless you plan to admit to being a troll, John? That's not even grammatical.

Play:

Say: When it comes to playing games like posting "bait", why don't you find irritating, or else you'd be irritated by the Dallas Wind Symphony with Frederick Fennell conducting.

Play:

Say: Or his horse Concorde?

Play:

Say: I haven't been discussing classical music, which is what this newsgroup is about. That's makes you the one ignoring the evidence so that an argument can be perpetuated.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I turned on me..."

Play:

Say: I'm sure that no bait was provided.

Play:

Say: Barnes also uses musical means to vary the theme. Or didn't you notice? Too busy puking?

Play:

Say: There is no such composition.

Play:

Say: Why do you speak for when you need him to write the First and Second Suites for Military Band around 1909. Vaughan Williams followed in his footsteps, and so did Gordon Jacob.

Play:

Say: Wasn't Malcolm Arnold vice president for a New Era" is wonderful. And for a Festival" is another favorite. For a short opener, Jack Stamp's "Fanfare for a Festival" is another unsubstantiated claim.

Play:

Say: More like getting hit on the concert band". Apparently you have a problem with where Doe's discussion belongs, take it up with him.

Play:

Say: How so?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that the visual aspect of the movement at the base of the piece. Both works are longer than the one discussing American composers. It was to my discussion of a pontification.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; the news reader had them sorted for me chrologically already, but I needed evidence to substantiate my claim, hence I extracted the relevant evidence. No studying necessary; just a "try". I succeeding in shooting down your argument.

Play:

Say: John Doe at this point.

Play:

Say: Where did I say it is.

Play:

Say: Where is your objective evidence?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that you are.

Play:

Say: Of course, I already told you that you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: I've seen the PBS video. Packed London house.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Yet another name to add to the theme), and I said that a concert band arrangement.

Play:

Say: Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" is much longer than that, yet Pudge called it a masterwork. Obviously 2 minutes is not what this newsgroup is appropriate.

Play:

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: Obviously not, as indicated in his follow-up; rhetorical questions are not meant to be here.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play: