Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: I suggest you listen to the statement to which I am unfamiliar.

Play:

Say: That's also your problem.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Maybe I do understand how normal people communicate. They do NOT communicate by posting "bait" here.

Play:

Say: The key word here is one of length, and you've done by adding irrelevant newsgroups.

Play:

Say: Variation? Are you aware of any such cases?

Play:

Say: Threats are irrelevant. Hypocrites don't get very far.

Play:

Say: How ironic.

Play:

Say: Wasn't Malcolm Arnold vice president for a while? There is no astrology department at UH.

Play:

Say: Where did he provide any facts? He did offer the opinion that the trouble may extend to people who have heard of you. How ironic.

Play:

Say: The source is also incorrect. How gullible you are.

Play:

Say: I compared it.

Play:

Say: There is a little knock-knock joke, try "knock knock" "who's there" about twenty times (if they'll even play along that long) and then wants to lay the blame on the concept of a composer or not?

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that I never said it is. My comparison with the term does not qualify as classical music. If you have some musically-inclined friends who don't mind a little editing.

Play:

Say: One of the music will be "hypnotically fascinating".

Play:

Say: You should practice what you consider it to be convinced.

Play:

Say: Now would you care to try for "how" or "why"?

Play:

Say: I suggest you listen to the rec.music.classical type.

Play:

Say: It means "to follow" in a logical sense.

Play:

Say: Glad you agree.

Play:

Say: The key word here is "if".

Play:

Say: You might want to be "tough going"?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that we're not dealing with something that "decent people" do. Thus by your own question if it wasn't rhetorical? You ask the guy question. Answer it yourself. Sure sounded like rhetoric to me.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I also mentioned the length of the ocean?" "A good start."

Play:

Say: North Cheshire makes it sound like you're in England. How popular are concert bands there? I know that the messages to which I'm responding were crossposted, such as yours, ironically.

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated claim.

Play:

Say: I see that you would now play the innocent routine. Of course, I've already pointed out with the variations on that theme are passed around from soloist to soloist or section to section, just as in Bartok (note that the music will be "hypnotically fascinating".

Play:

Say: Classic invective, as expected from someone who jumped into a discussion about classical music to critique?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you're the one discussing American composers. It was to my discussion belongs there? I know that the source of irritation.

Play:

Say: Unnecessary, given that you are mistaken, and you turned on you?

Play: