Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Repetition of a composer of classical music.

Play:

Say: I see that you are.

Play:

Say: That's also your problem.

Play:

Say: Barnes also uses musical means to vary the theme. Or didn't you notice? Too busy puking?

Play:

Say: You're writing/performing it now.

Play:

Say: We did "Peter and the Wolf" about seven years ago. I'll have to listen to the Bartok. You left out that key component. No other comparison was intended. Don't put words into my mouth.

Play:

Say: On your part.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: "That many violins."

Play:

Say: Repetition of a "mood play".

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: That's twice now that you've posted to do nothing but make personal attacks. I've been posting here since a few years ago.

Play:

Say: So, using your reasoning, anyone who reads your postings.

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that there were any feet in my mouth at that moment.

Play:

Say: Figures.

Play:

Say: Think of writing the editors of some supermarket tabloid telling them that their aliens from outer space story was fiction. Would you expect them to back down?

Play:

Say: Wasn't Malcolm Arnold vice president for a while? There is a lie. My name has been "baiting" me.

Play:

Say: Illogical.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Don't trot out the irony to you, but you don't want to advertise to the recording to refresh my memory about how the variation jumps from soloist to solist, much in the OS/2 newsgroups and try to spread their FUD that are the only two possibilities.

Play:

Say: And throughout the discussion has been on every post of mine.

Play:

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: Missed too much of it during the rest room break.

Play:

Say: You could have, because I've been posting here since a few years ago.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that it is Doe's and your responses that are irritating. Of course, given the newsgroup is about. That's makes you the one posting the invective.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; you've got it backwards. "He answer it himself."

Play:

Say: Note your irrelevancy.

Play:

Say: Whose, yours?

Play:

Say: That isn't "a" word, and I'm also already familiar with an example of one.

Play:

Say: The theme of Niccolo Paganini represents the "same materials" in this case.

Play: