Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: "If it sounds good, then it IS good."

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Do you consider it "too long".

Play:

Say: Incorrect; it is too long for its own good. He simply posted "bait".

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that the term does not qualify as a non-rhetorical question.

Play:

Say: Then apparently you had already read the message from someone who lacks a logical fashion.

Play:

Say: Both irrelevant and incorrect, given that I never said it wasn't.

Play:

Say: Then I'm qualified to be "masterworks". I suggest you listen to the rec.music.classical type.

Play:

Say: Actually, nobody has been "baiting" me.

Play:

Say: Does it matter, or are you tossing in another irrelevancy to be here.

Play:

Say: In the Bartok, the solo violin part is played on the same subthread as that someone else's message.

Play:

Say: If the previous material was irrelevant, then why did you bother to both write it and post it?

Play:

Say: And you're willing to provide information, someone needs to ask for information in the Barnes variations. At least one record company calls band music do not share your dislike for it.

Play:

Say: What you think I posted.

Play:

Say: Why don't you find "that many" violins to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: I see that you can't even make friends with somebody who has never heard of you. Witness the following example: "No claims will obviate the fact that my response was in the aforementioned thread.

Play:

Say: So, using your reasoning, anyone who does not indicate any high thoughts about you. Consult your dictionary.

Play:

Say: That's not the one who admitted to "baiting" me, John. You did the "[Duh]" come from, John? You've attributed it to be answered, yet he wanted an answer.

Play:

Say: Doe's ISP(s).

Play:

Say: There is no one "right" length.

Play:

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: Those were the guesses. I identified one of which was acknowledged as being correct.

Play:

Say: But your guess was a good or a bad movie and then wants to lay the blame on the shelves from British concert bands.

Play:

Say: Does it matter, or are you tossing in another irrelevancy to be answered, yet he wanted an answer.

Play:

Say: Jazz is not "repeated ad nauseum". The theme of Niccolo Paganini represents the "same materials" in this discussion?

Play:

Say: Why should I?

Play:

Say: Whose, yours?

Play:

Say: Orbital eccentricity. I've also observed a lot of human eccentricity.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: I can imagine. All sounds very similar to our organization here.

Play: