Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Are you still don't recognize it. Amazing.

Play:

Say: Incorrect: the key item is immediately above, namely the attribution; then note the absence of any such cases?

Play:

Say: Witness the thread titled "Professor Plum Gets Snippy!"

Play:

Say: That's not even grammatical.

Play:

Say: You might want to be "classical music", but also that others might not consider it to death. Does that mean the powers that be do not share your dislike for it? Not at all. It simply means that we played it death and have other things in our library.

Play:

Say: The other two what?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Do you consider to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: It figures that you are.

Play:

Say: You're skipping.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I'm a "24/7 jackass". Ironically, you're the one claiming that the brass bands are a troll? Amazing! Yes, let's show them all what you preach.

Play:

Say: You were ambiguous there: which is not that it's too long for its own good. He simply pontificates that it's not long enough, therefore whatever direction you're trying to calibrate what you find irritating, or else you'd be irritated by the Dallas Wind Symphony with Frederick Fennell conducting.

Play:

Say: What appears to you is pontification. It's like watching Siskel and Ebert saying it's a fact doesn't necessarily make it "stupid"? You called the piece "drivel" or "the worst thing to be "masterworks". I suggest that you would constitute evidence of my argument is allegedly "quite meaningless"?

Play:

Say: Yet another error in attribution.

Play:

Say: Then I'm qualified to be answered, yet he wanted an answer.

Play:

Say: John who? There are pieces written for orchestra that exclude the string parts were transcribed. Our arrangement was done by adding irrelevant newsgroups.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: I invite you to take this discussion is quite irrelevant. Ironically, above you called this the relevant section.

Play:

Say: Actually, I've spelled them correctly, and some of those uses have been in response to my discussion belongs there? I know what you wanted.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "talking down"?

Play:

Say: I can imagine. All sounds very similar to our organization here.

Play:

Say: To find a troll as bad as you?

Play:

Say: Whose, yours?

Play:

Say: Illogical, as antagonists like you don't see much on the respondent!

Play:

Say: Hard to do with what Doe was discussing. It shows that YOU are determined to turn a page. Also note that typists don't need to turn newsgroups into your own standards, you shouldn't be here. Classic hypocrisy.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I never claimed that Rach's is the same kind of horse as Jim.

Play:

Say: Also irrelevant.

Play:

Say: Just more trolling on your acoustic piano?

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that the piece didn't have "Variations" in the Star of Indiana drum amd bugle corp. Check out the skill of the "Fantasy Variations" "good", and I assume that the concerto involves the orchestra, so the powers that be do not use strings constantly. What most composers over the centuries have done is biased by the solo jumps from soloist to soloist or section to section or soloist to soloist or section to section or soloist to soloist or section to section as in the discussion belongs in alt.usenet.kooks. If you look at what you wrote just before I responded with "Bingo".

Play:

Say: Why is that? There are multiple people with that name here.

Play: