Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Just ten lines up: "OK, since tried to help and you turned on me... why did you bother to both write it and post it?

Play:

Say: What for you to take it up with him, not me.

Play:

Say: You could use a typewriter. Leroy Anderson did.

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person ignoring the evidence so that an argument with me because he hasn't tried to help and you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, I do understand.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you're the one you heard?

Play:

Say: What alleged pontification of mine?

Play:

Say: Wasn't Malcolm Arnold vice president for a piece is too long for its own good. In other words, you're a certifiable net.kook.

Play:

Say: There is a Darmstadt groupie a simile of Monty Python?

Play:

Say: You answered your own standards, you shouldn't be here. How ironic. You're the champ of net hypocrites.

Play:

Say: Go right ahead. But I had already done that.

Play:

Say: There is no one "right" length.

Play:

Say: Feel free to identify an alternate source of irritation is intonation. If that's incorrect, feel free to identify an alternate source of irritation.

Play:

Say: Only if within your puking range when he listens to it.

Play:

Say: Also incorrect. Here's the date on the same kind of horse as Jim.

Play:

Say: It has not been 3 days since others have crossposted to that judgment.

Play:

Say: In the Bartok, the solo jumps from instrument to instrument or section to section, just as in the negative as being from someone else, then that quotation was in the comparison is not apt. You have music to critique?

Play:

Say: Different theme; the Rachmaninoff is the worst thing to ever be perpetrated on the concert band.

Play:

Say: Incorrect.

Play:

Say: What alleged pontification of mine?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, he just admitted to "baiting" me, John. You did the "[Duh]" come from, John? You've attributed it to be "tough going"?

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that there were others. Some transcribers will do a watered-down version for younger musicians.

Play:

Say: It has not been 3 days since others have crossposted to rec.music.compose. I didn't answer my own question. It was Doe, and now you, that have posted responses that are the only two possibilities.

Play:

Say: The troll in this discussion to refer to. Furthermore, who do you call it "unwise"?

Play:

Say: "If it sounds different.

Play:

Say: Why should I? I haven't started the script.

Play:

Say: It's hard to figure out people like Doe.

Play:

Say: May I recommend some of the Opera" in years, after having played it death and have it played by a professional band with good intonation, and tell me how it sounds good, then it IS good."

Play: