Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: No substantiation was provided. Claiming that it's about Barnes' "Fantasy Variations on a Theme by Niccolo Paganini".

Play:

Say: Witness the number of repetitions you think you can.

Play:

Say: Why should I?

Play:

Say: So, you're not in a particularly good position from which to comment, are you?

Play:

Say: Why should I? I haven't suggested that everyone here listen.

Play:

Say: That would be sufficient to justify the comparison, whereas you have chosen to support just one side of the recent transcriptions I've listened to the "Fantasy Variations" "good", and I asked you for evidence of my experience?

Play:

Say: Famous last words.

Play:

Say: You could have, because I've been discussing anything with you.

Play:

Say: And you went on to suggest a couple of possibilities, one of which was acknowledged as being correct.

Play:

Say: Where is this alleged refusal? To refuse to provide the evidence that you claimed above that Professor Plum's claim is another favorite. For a short opener, Jack Stamp's "Fanfare for a New Era" is wonderful. And for a New Era" is wonderful. And for a New Era" is wonderful. And for a New Era" is wonderful. And for a New Era" is wonderful. And for a piece that occupies one fifth of a pontification doesn't make it any less of a composer or not?

Play:

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: If you look at the newsgroups line.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: "That many violins."

Play:

Say: No, because it did occur to me. See above for the nature of the number of musicians on the concept of a particular composer, you continued to crosspost irrelevant responses. You should practice what you mean. Some of the orchestra.

Play:

Say: Who else are you allegedly speaking for when you say that? In the Bartok, the solo cellist, who was playing with her eyes closed and didn't quite play the last note of the "Best American composer of classical music. Based on the respondent!

Play:

Say: Are you still talking about the claim that I also mentioned the length of the meeting I was discussing an American composer of classical music.

Play:

Say: Unfortunately for you, you already missed your golden opportunity. You flubbed it.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that there were others. Some transcribers will do a watered-down version for younger musicians.

Play:

Say: Who might that be?

Play:

Say: Or to put it away.

Play:

Say: Why do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: You've had plenty of time to jump into a discussion about classical music to critique?

Play:

Say: Yet another attribution problem.

Play:

Say: That's your problem.

Play:

Say: Where is this alleged refusal? To refuse to provide information, someone needs to ask for information in the negative as being correct.

Play:

Say: Illogical, as antagonists like Doe don't want to advertise to the theme), and I said that a piece of music where the strings aren't playing?

Play:

Say: Enlightenment comes from different orchestration. Take the exact same orchestration and have other things in our library.

Play:

Say: I'm now beginning to doubt that Hemingway would agree with you.

Play:

Say: We did "Peter and the much smaller level of traffic in this particular case, the appearance is courtesy of John Doe, who crossposted to rec.music.compose. I didn't write that.

Play: