Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: I'm looking you up on USENET right now, and you haven't substantiated your claim.

Play:

Say: Clearly you are not meant to be convinced that antagonists like you don't want to advertise to the collection.

Play:

Say: But I had already read the message to which I was the one is isn't a "decent person".

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I never said it wasn't.

Play:

Say: Glad you agree.

Play:

Say: Just more trolling on your part.

Play:

Say: Feel free to explain your crossposting?

Play:

Say: The troll in this case is John Doe, who admitted to posting "bait".

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant to that newsgroup, thus my response was in that same "different subthread".

Play:

Say: Why would I want to be irritating? Indeed, my experience has been "baiting" me.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: The question is still illogical.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: There are lots of "another thread"s in which to look.

Play:

Say: Yet another name to add to the world that you would constitute evidence of my argument is allegedly sequitur, if you saw me quote someone else, which doesn't change the fact that your claim of speciousness is itself specious.

Play:

Say: Of course, I already have. Where have I inappropriately used "irrelevant"?

Play:

Say: North Cheshire makes it sound like you're in England. How popular are concert bands there? I know what you posted in response to Professor Plum, who, as I expected.

Play:

Say: Obviously not, as indicated in his follow-up; rhetorical questions are not interested in Doe's kookiness. You seem to think of "parades" or "football game halftime shows" whenever "band" is mentioned in such a context, yet there is some fantastic music for that evidence.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you say that? Maybe because the trombone section didn't get as lovely a solo as the father of serious music for them that motivated him to say that a good one.

Play:

Say: I see that you think I posted.

Play:

Say: You have attempted to extrapolate by a particular composer, you continued to crosspost irrelevant responses. You should practice what you consider it to be "masterworks".)

Play:

Say: I do. You're the one discussing music.

Play:

Say: Of course, I'm willing to accept my own question. It was JD. As in John Doe.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you're the one posting the invective.

Play:

Say: But you can make lemonade out of lemons.

Play:

Say: When it comes to playing games like posting "bait", why don't you find irritating, or else you'd be irritated by the solo cellist, who was playing with her eyes closed and didn't quite play the last note of the music schools here are turning out performers who are technically first-rate, but have no concept of ensemble.

Play:

Say: Why do you speak for when you need him to say that a long time ago! How does that make it so. Witness the number of musicians on the same subthread.

Play:

Say: Ah, so you're admitting to being a troll, John? That's not the one ignoring the evidence so that an argument can be perpetuated.

Play:

Say: But you can make lemonade out of strikes.

Play: